(This post is NOT for the faint of heart – apologies is this is TMI (too much information) for some – you cannot say you weren’t warned)

Chemo. It kills hair dead – yet this morning I had to shave the annoying hair that continues to grow on my legs. Oh how I will NOT miss shaving my legs!  Thing is, for a time in my past I used to get a Brazilian – and I maintained that level of “cleanliness” so to speak, for over a year (though not anytime recently).  Now – with the impending doom of hair falling out in clumps, leaving me with spotty patches on my nether regions or on my head as the case may be -as my treatment continues, I find myself wanting to take charge of this whole transformation.

Now – some folks take charge by just shaving the hair on their head. Bam!  Yeah – I considered this but I really like the long hair on my head. I’ve come up with a few alternatives I see for my multiple body hair issues that are staring me in the face.

 

1. Body hair NOT on my head – How stupid is this but I’m actually going to sign up for a full Brazilian. I know how clean I felt when I was sans-hair in my nether regions and you know what, the thought of having some but not all is really irksome. Nope. Not going to let the chemo get it, I’m going to pay good money to have it all ripped from me one last time. Hopefully chemo #2 will keep it from re-growing so I don’t have to go for a follow up in a month or so and pay for another mid-chemo Brazillian….

 

2. Hair ON my head – Ok. I thought about it and going from long to no hair will freak me out, but come on – my hair is already starting to go. Gotta think of ways to make this interesting. Decided (since I’d already be due for a haircut if not for the chemo) – that I’m going to get my hair cut weekly. It helps that one of my good friends is a hairstylist and available to assist! I’ve always been extremely conservative with my hair. It took at least 3 different hairstylists over the course of about 10 years for me to get rid of my thick bangs in the mid-90s. I had that giant triangle space of bangs for EVER! Yes – 3 hairstylists in 3 states (we moved a bit) and finally – the bangs were gone.  So – why not embrace this as a chance to get multiple different short haircuts and see what works? Granted – I won’t be able to style it with a flat iron, hair dryer or big round brush – (for these will all help pull what remaining hair I have from my scalp) – I will be able to carefully comb it when it’s wet and then have it cut – add some product for conditioning/curl enhancement and then let it air dry. With my pre-chemo hair – this usually gave my locks a bit of what I called my “Carrie Bradshaw” (Sex in the City – Sarah Jessica Parker) look .  With shorter hair I should really pick up some serious curl! If I get a new haircut every week – knocking another inch or two off – not only will this help me get used to my shorter hair, it’ll also be like a game to see what coworkers actually NOTICE that my hair was cut – and cut again – and again. It’ll be a fabulously fun game for everyone! (OK, I may be a bit too enthusiastic about this but you have to learn to have fun with cancer or it’ll really ruin your day.) The amazing administrative assistants at work will give me tips on which looks work and which do not (they have WAY more fashion sense than I do!)  – so when my hair does grow back – I’ll also have some clue as to what does work for me. Gotta embrace the inevitable.  As Sheryl Sandberg would say, I’m leaning In!

Update as of 4/14/2015, Tuesday – The whole hair thing really didn’t go as planned. My hair started to fall out about 2 weeks after my first chemo and I did get one hair cut on Saturday- to cut off about 4 inches and get it about shoulder length. Problem is every time I tried to make it look “neat” by brushing or combing it – the hair just continued to easy pull out. After coming home Monday night (4/13) to my husband with his head freshly shaved (love this show of support – completely unexpected!)- I decided to go for it and he helped rid me of the rest of the hair on my head.  Finally no more shedding in the shower! Head has been itching for a while and continues to itch but I feel so much cleaner…  I did pick up some nice hats and scarves this weekend, in preparation for the hair loss – so even when my hair was gone I never once cried about it; I just got super excited about how to accessorize and dress for work to set off my new hats!  This whole cancer thing is making me more of a girlie girl than I ever been before!

Update as of 4/15/2015 – 5 Reasons I’m ok With Losing My Hair

The whole hair thing does have a silver lining…..

5. Post-Shower Toweling Time: Takes about 2 SECONDS to dry my head vs. the ages it took for my long hair (below my shoulder) to drip all over me (even when wrapped in a towel). I find that after only 2 days, I’m really ok with this – even looking forward to it.

4. No hair, No Hair To Pull Back: I’m not fighting with my hair to stay OUT of things it shouldn’t be in such as soapy water (if I’m washing my face), food (if I’m eating something and need to lean forward to not get sticky, etc.) I could go on and on. No wondering where my hair tie went (again) and why I can never find one when I need one even though I own about 10 of them! I’m totally ok with this.

3. No hair, no shedding. My hair is (was? will be again someday…) notorious for clogging up drains and breaking vacuum cleaners. We even bought the fancy, shmancy, expensive vacuum cleaner. We did specifically because you could remove the roller bar very easily in order to allow access to cut off the ton of hair wrapped around it. We did this often. I think my husband will approve of the unscheduled pause in the roller bar maintenance since, thinking about it, he always takes care of this, not me!

2. Hats! Scarfs! Accessories! No hair means learning to be feminine without hair. For me – this is a big deal. It took me 35 years to start wearing skirts 3 out of 5 days to work and now, I’m finding with this whole new “Fabulous and Forty” turn in my life that I’m now seeing a wonderful opportunity that I had never delved into before: accessorizing! I’ve already purchased a few adorable hats for work and for weekend fun. I purchased some new scarfs, too (though honestly I have to admit, my love of scarfs does go back farther than my breast cancer diagnosis!). Also – I realized today, that I need more hoop earrings. Hats without hair leaves my ears screaming out for earrings. And – perhaps some nice bracelets? And, oh yeah – the purse I use all the time, which is both weekend and work friendly and kid friendly and over 7 years old –  I just might need to replace that, too – perhaps with a few different purses for different moods or work or play. You catch my drift. In a very odd turn of events, breast cancer is opening my eyes to being more of a girly girl.

1. My Motto for Losing my Hair (say it to yourself as you are witnessing your hair coming out in scary clumps- “And so it begins.. Let the shopping commence!!”  I think this should be the motto for every woman who is losing their hair to chemotherapy. Seriously. See #2 above.

Oh yea – and one reason I might be VERY angry about this whole hair loss thing….after speaking with someone who does waxing for a living, she shared with me a story about one client that she had. Evidently she continued to wax her client’s leg hair and arm pits through ALL of her treatments; while all of the hair had been banished from her head due to her chemotherapy, the hair on her head continued to grow and grow and grow. Seriously?! That totally is uncalled for! I’m putting in an order to my oncology nurses tomorrow (at my #2 chemo session) to make sure the chemo is directed to my obnoxious leg hair. It will be interesting to see what happens.

 

Update as of 5/1/2015

Ok, so it’s been a while. Time to report out on the whole hair situation.

Underarm Hair: Happy to report that the underarm hair seem to have been blasted by the chemo. No more growing! Saves me some effort which is nice.

Leg Hair: So – it is still growing but it is definitely damaged. It is very, very slow. I haven’t actually shaved it in over a week or two and it’s still super short. I’ll shave it again on the next chemo day and see how much it recovers after that. Not as annoying as I thought it was going to be. I think if I had it waxed it’d be too blown away to figure out how to grow back any time soon. Might do that if it comes back after chemo #3….

Head Hair: This I had shaved off and it is continuing to grow all be it also slowly. I actually am considering having it shaved nice and close by a professional and then possibly getting a light spray tan. The whole pale/white head thing is kind of blah. Either that or a henna tattoo…but what to put on my noggin that would be fun but also work appropriate? Perhaps just get a henna tattoo of a headband? Would be fun. Might need to look into it further…..

Update as of 8/28/2015

My hair started growing back around the time of my last chemo, July 9th. They skipped the taxotere and I think that was the one doing the most damage. Either way since that date my hair has slowly been growing back. I now have a light brown fuzz on my head but it’s not yet dense enough to hide my scalp. Here’s a quick updates on the hair situation now…

Underarm Hair: it’s back.  At my first shower after the surgery I dried myself off and then looked in the mirror – checking my incisions and body to make sure that everything was ok. I noticed that it was PAST the time to shave my armpits. I had enough hair that had grown that I went back into the shower to shave it. Funny thing is, it was hard to shave since I usually do this by putting my arm straight over my head – now I could shave it but had to keep my shoulder much lower until I’m fully healed. We are back to the old grind on this one.

Leg Hair: First time I shaved it was at my second shower after the chemo (I could have done it at the first but still felt too sore to want to mess around that much in the shower). A few days later, the hair had grown back and now I need to shave again. Yep, it’s back. Kind of miss the no-shave/smooth as just-waxed feeling but I’m good with it. Shaving means I’m another small step closer to “normal”.

Head Hair: Growing well. Very soft and brown. Can still see my scalp but it’s getting a little denser every day. Looking forward to the time when I have enough hair to put some hair styling product in it to spike it – gotta take whatever hair style I can muster….but for now, I’m still usually wearing hats – my head gets cold!

Rest of my Body Hair: I’d waxed before the chemo had it’s full impact. I’m happy to say that I could definitely wax again. All is back to normal here, too.