They suck. They all suck. I have to make a decision – lumpectomy or double mastectomy and reconstruction and the more information I get, the more doctors I talk to the more F’d up it all is. Seriously. None of the above.

Unfortunately, life isn’t like that. A decision is necessary. I’m wondering if there are ways to bend the rules, find a loop hole to wiggle through to somehow make it all easier and so far, no secret has been revealed. This sucks. Going to talk to more women who have been through it. I’ve spoken to my share of doctors and gotten their opinions but one thing in this awful place that is certain is that this decision solely lies with me. My decision. My ownership. My responsibility.

I need a hot chocolate and a pastry. Screw work. This is too much.