4 Stages of Grief:  Denial. Depression. Anger. Acceptance.  Today I’m in the Anger stage.  My body is failing me – abandoning me. Every day something else new and wonderful shows up that warrants a call to the oncology nurses. So frustrating. I’m sick of being sick. It’s like I hit 40 and my warranty expired. WTF !? Now that I cannot go to the gym I wonder why I ever wasted all of those other days not going when I was healthy. It’s all in perspective isn’t it?

Anger I’m sure is an obvious part of being a cancer patient. It’s just that I feel like a bucking bronco in the pen with a rider on its back. I just want out of the pen and the rider the F! off of my back! Yup. That about describes my frustration. I’m not a patient person. My spirit is strong. I know I can do this . I just wish …

What do I wish? Well honestly – I guess I should be grateful when I step back and take a second to gain perspective. I should…. Be grateful that I’m physically strong to get through this.  Be grateful that my nausea has gone away for now. Be grateful that my colleagues, manager, and friends are so supportive of me and that I have the wonderful doctors and care facilities supporting my care during this time. Be grateful that I have enough fight I me to not give up on anything. Buck up little bronco; it’s a marathon not an 8 sec ride….