If you have cancer I think this becomes a standard question that everyone asks you. Your family, friends and colleagues all care about you and what to know.
My first day back to work following my first chemo session I felt completely “green in the gills” as I like to put it. (Recall that I didn’t want to take the anti-nausea pill, silly me!). I told people as much and looked as much. About 3 people into the day I realized that I bet no one really wants to hear my sob story (which isn’t a short sprint of a story but more of an ironman triathalon of sorts) about how I feel less than stellar – especially if – following the first chemo – this was going to be my “new normal”.
Luckily, I discovered during those 3 weeks is that my body’s response is cyclical. I get hit with chemo (thrown off my horse so to speak) – symptoms start in a day or two, they get worse, then they slowly fade away and then every day I felt a little better until I felt great and walked in for the second treatment (AKA – getting thrown off the horse again). Get thrown off 6, get back on 7.
Today – 3 days after my chemo, I feel exhausted. I’m not used to needing so much sleep. I want to take the time to relax and catch up on a good book while I rest and reading is just too much to handle. I haven’t even blogged since it’s been too much to get my act together to do so. Frustrating.
The chemotherapeutic drugs completely slow down my mind. It starts as soon as they start to enter my IV. I was reading a really interesting article all about the latest and greatest research going on in the cancer immunotherapy developments while they were administering the drugs, and suddenly the paper was too much to focus on. My brain just couldn’t read and comprehend the words. Words I had read fine, at a nice clip not 10 min earlier – suddenly coming as slowly as they do for my 5 year old who’s learning how to read. 3 Days later, still the same. All of my thinking and organizing – basics for my brain function – are still on slow motion. Only light at the end of the tunnel is knowing that this is cyclical. What goes down should come back up. Just wondering how long until it comes up this time….